The Rainy Days Of Life
A REPOST FROM 2021
It's early morning and the rain is coming down pretty hard. All is quiet and I am so thankful for the easiness that dwells in my soul. No, things are not perfect, we have covid 19, riots, homelessness, addiction, human trafficking, abuse, sickness and the list goes on and on. My humanness, on a daily basis, tries to kick in to confuse me and leave me fearful. With that being said, I embrace my human weakness and call upon the Lord for wisdom and guidance.
I remember as a young girl, listening to the news of the times, being confused and fearful of what this world, and problems, was going to bring. Would I even get the chance to grow up, get a job and have a family. I remember my oldest son being so fearful as he traveled with the high school band over the new year holiday of Y2K. What's my point, fear has been pushed out to us for as long as I can remember. Every age group has a specific time in life they can quote where the news of the day scared the crap out of them. And it continues today because the devil sticks with what works. I have found over the years in our humanness, we don't really try to combat it, we just jump on the bandwagon with sparklers and noise makers, throwing out little hard candies to all the cheering onlookers
I can easily add to the fear by saying we are certainly smack-dab in the middle of a rainy day of life with no umbrella. I might even get a couple of high fives on that statement. However, I refuse to be a part of the negativity that we spew upon our fellow American's. The hate we find so easy to snuggle up to for warmth. Just like the Israelites who continually went back to their metal god and asherah poles until things got so bad that they called out to God for help. Friends, let's band together and call out to God for help. It's time, don't you think?
I'm going to chose to enjoy the rainy days by listening to the rain tinkle on my metal roof like voices singing praises to the heavens. I'm going to start my day with prayer for guidance and wisdom. I'm going to leave my house dressed in the full armor of God, and I am going to love those that I am blessed to come in contact with. I'm going to pray without ceasing that the lies and deception of the enemy will be cast down by a light so bright, we gotta wear our shades.
Self-Care Brings Joyful Healing
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Our mental health is so important; however, our self-care is the last thing we work on as a part of our overall wellness. We must look at ourselves holistically or look at the “Total Package” of who God made us to be.
I see people every day that eat well, exercise, and take care of their physical body; but, mentally they are depressed, anxious and beat down by life in general. Why? Because we feel like our hurt and brokenness should be carried around with us. It’s like layering your clothes one on top of the other and never removing anything. The layer next to your skin starts to stink and decay, permeating the other layers with a nasty smell, while we add perfume and cologne to the outer layer hoping no one will notice. The weight of it all is exhausting.
For years I lived a life of anxiety and fear. Those things even worked their way into the parts of my life that I enjoyed. Anxiety riddled even vacation time for me, but I tried to put on a face of joy for my family. I would return to work so tired and feeling sick that my next vacation was another year away. My drive to work was with hands gripped to the steering wheel and my temples aching from clenched teeth hoping everyone would just stay in their lane. I had no understanding of what was missing from my life because it was filled with other stuff.
I started really working on my mental health and focusing on my self-care about 10 years ago, when I started working on me. With the help of a couple of small groups I started attending, it became apparent that I was important to God, and my well-being was important for my walk with Him. God made me/us in his image, and we were made to prosper. But I want to explain, prosper in this context is not about money, it’s about life. We were made to live healthy, happy lives and we can prosper even through adversity, if we rely on the one who provides our strength. In my strength, I am weak, I proved that to myself over and over. In His strength, I am whole and happy.
For anyone suffering with anxiety and fear of what life holds, I say that life holds a place for you. Outside of what the news says, outside of what your surroundings say, and outside of what others say about you. There is a place inside the kingdom of God that is safe, secure and focused on your self-care. I wish I could explain exactly how it works, but there is a lot I still have no explanation for. God did tell us in Isaiah 55:8 that His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are far beyond anything we can imagine. (NLT) I have found these words to be very true in my personal life and in my personal walk to better mental health.
I reached out to God last for help. He was the one person I should have asked first. Even though I waited a long time to make the decision He was quick to help. God has continued to help me, guide me, and strengthen me over the last 10 years. Not to mention the things He did for me the first 50 years of my life. But, continued to walk the journey alone.
God has given me a joyful healing from the bumps and bruises of life. Yes, I have a few scars upon my heart. But, the hard callus that once covered those scars has been soften by the healing hands of God. What a glorious relief.
Make your mental health, your self-care, a priority. Find ways to put peace back into your life; call upon God to help you. Your maker understands your needs. We offer programs at Hope Is The Anchor that can help you get your mental health back on track. See our programs at http://www.hopeistheanchor.com Oh, and before you say it’s selfish to put your needs above the needs of others, I give you this thought to ponder….” when we let our personal needs go, that loss reflects in all of our relationships”.
The Stronghold of Shame
The heart, just like our storage closet, gets cluttered with things. Things we love and cherish, and things that hold no purpose. Some are big, some are small, some are not even worth a mention, but they are still there. This clutter of things is housed up, fighting for fresh air at the first good trigger. Triggers are all around us, smells, sounds, sights. Some things are even sitting on a "hair trigger", just waiting to cause problems at even a mere thought. I have incidents that continue to haunt my heart, things that I have no idea why I can even remember them.
One of my stories happened when my youngest son was about 10, I turned at a light in front of oncoming traffic. As I turned, a normal part of driving, it flashed before me that if the oncoming traffic had of hit us, it would have hit on my son's side of the car. That one thought caused me to feel shame in that moment. It made me feel like I had acted foolishly. Over the years this incident, and I remember exactly where it took place, will pop in my mind. The other day my husband and I were driving down the road, and this old unpleasant thought popped in my head. It simply came out of the blue and for a minute I started to dwell on it, (22 years later) but I heard the Holy Spirit say, "take it captive". But what does that really mean, take a thought captive? It means gaining control of what you think about yourself. If we take a few moments to think about those thoughts that invade our mind out of the blue; typically, shame is the culprit.
Now it may seem lame to use this example of shame; simply a thought of something that never even happened. However, I am trying to impress upon you the invasiveness of shame on the networking systems of the brain. My example was simply a thought of “what if”. Here is another truth, shame can imbed itself into us by other people attempting to tell our story, especially at a very young age where we cannot appropriately communicate for ourselves. Honestly, even before we are born. I’m not even talking about negative things here; I’m talking about seemingly good things that our parents or maybe even mentors say about us or push us into doing. We have all heard at least one athlete talk about their parent that pushed them into that sport, pushed them to be the best, and they hate what they are doing.
Please understand, I am not parent bashing or shaming, I am a parent. I’m just driving home a point. Emotions come and go; shame takes up residency in your brain. Shame pushes you out of your easy chair, the one you bought and paid for, and makes the chair its own. Shame is a blinding light that causes you to look away every time someone tries to make eye contact with you. Shame is not just about what you think, it becomes who you are. It settles in for the long-haul.
You see, shame changes how we see ourselves. If we have negative thoughts about ourselves; how can other people have positive thoughts about us? If we don’t love ourselves, how can anyone else love us, specifically God. If we feel like we are never good enough, how can we believe others will see us as good enough? How do we gain control of what we think of ourselves? For me it was when I heard these words from God, after years of gnashing of teeth; “Daughter, I forgave you the first time you asked, the problem is you have not forgiven yourself. I felt in that moment that God gave permission to finally forgive myself. I guess in some way for me to move on, I just felt like I needed permission. As if him dying on the cross was not enough.
This really flipped a switch for me, God knew what I personally needed. I had spent a lot of time pouring out my heart to God about my darkest secrets. Places where I did something that facilitated the shame I felt. Not just a “what if” thought. Of course, he already knew everything, but me being willing to speak it out opened doors to allow for change. We must pour out our heart, keeping stuff in it builds a cold, stone prison. Over time it became so clear that my relationship with God had to be 100% all in. You either trust and believe 100% what the Bible says, or you don’t. There is no 80/20 or even 95/5 percentage of how we trust God. As a believer I cannot say I believe God died on the cross to save me from my sin, or shame, or health problems, and live my life thinking it doesn’t apply to me, or my family. That’s doubled-minded thinking which is addressed in the Bible. James 1:5 says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind”. I lived years being tossed around by the wind.
Whenever I start to feel out of sorts by looking at the world around me, and all the bad things that happen, I must do as God said, take it captive. I must remember, I was born into a world of sin, and that I have free will. Because of this we have to deal with the world and the consequences of our decisions. The Bible makes it clear, I will have trials and tribulation. However, we have these truths to stand upon. God has overcome this world. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am the head and not the tail. He is with me coming in and going out. I am a chosen daughter of God. I am enough, and He is preparing a place at the table for me. This is how I stay in control of how I think about myself. I do not worry that other people see this in me or believe it about me. I worry about whether they believe it about themselves. We may be surrounded by people in our lives that think only the best about us. However, if we do not think the best about us, other peoples opinions count as nothing. I must walk in God’s truth about me to survive this world; so do you.
Pouring out your heart to God, taking bad thoughts captive, and repeating to yourself who you are in God, allows you to control your thoughts and your emotions. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not worthy, not good enough or lacking in some area. You are good enough, and only God has the last word in your life.
Donna Shubert
For more information about Hope Is The Anchor or Restoration Workshop go to www.hopeistheanchor.com.
Holiday Blues
As I started to write a new blog post about the holiday blues, I remembered this one from last year. It still applies, and I can not add anything this year that makes more sense. Some great new things happened in 2021 like the opening of Hope Is The Anchor Healing Studio. Also, I believe I did leave fear, in general, back in 2020. Unfortunately, some things have remained the same in this world, Covid topping the list. The holidays are rolling around again and I feel a little anxiety creeping in; however, I will not allow fear to steal my joy. I hope the next few paragraphs bring you encouragement and joy as we run the downhill slide into 2022.
The holidays bring great joy; spending special time with family and friend, plus awesome goodies. There is so much excitement between Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, for many, the holidays bring forth sadness and anxiety. When you allow the events in your life to bring you to this place, getting out is a hard uphill climb. I personally keep looking for a place where I can hit a plateau, but as the holidays roll around each year it becomes all too obvious that I am still climbing the hill. Why can't I hit that plateau? Honestly, I just do not know.
Each year I think this is my year to let go of the past, the hurts, the disappointment, but the remnant feelings linger like a veil. My feelings, like so many others, are unhealthy habits. We will never get well if we continue living unhealthy habits. So, what can we do to turn unhealthy to healthy? As I work on turning unhealthy to healthy I am making two changes this year, and by the way, 2020 seems like an apropos year to leave the past in the past and get to higher ground.
First step: Stop being afraid the past might repeat itself. So many times I have told someone else that fear is not of the Lord; all the while allowing fear to steal my joy -- to take from me my favorite time of the year. This has been going on for years now. In my defense, I have made several menial attempts to move on, honestly to no avail. So....fear stays in 2020.
Second step: Stop setting expectations that you know will not be met. This one has been a staple in my life. However, once I started to realize that my expectations where the catapult to things going wrong, I stopped setting them. We live our life hoping to not be disappointed, in ourself and/or people that we love. Sometimes we do not know if the disappointment is in ourself or someone else. There comes a point were we have to be willing to say, "this is all I can do right now". We also have to live with our faults, some of which we are working to correct, and others that we are not ready to address, yet. Most importantly we have to forgive the faults of others, just as we hope they will forgive ours. Remember, you reap what you sow. So...sow some grace.
I am making a commitment to myself as I write these words to abandon fear and give more grace. We can make life really complicated being controlled by our fears, coupled with an unwillingness to just let things flow naturally. It's okay to say, "cooking all the food for Christmas dinner takes all of the fun out of the day and wears me out to boot". The healthy part of it is being willing to say it. It's unhealthy, when your expectation is for everyone to figure it out on their own. If your greatest fear this season is that it will turn out just like last year; or like me, 15 years ago, that's living unhealthy. The healthy holiday comes with open communication, honesty, grace, and maybe even new traditions. Whoop, whoop...I think I'm ordering takeout.
One last thought from the standpoint of lingering fear and unmet expectations...so often today, I hear this, "this may be our last holiday together". It occurs to me that maybe we should work on being more intentional about spending time together with family and friends through out the year instead of letting the pressures of life confine us to shoving everything into a few days one time a year. Not to take anything away from the holidays and their meaning, but the blessings of life come 365 days a year, let's enjoy them all.
The Shoes Make The Outfit
A good pair of shoes can change your outlook on the day. It doesn't have to be an expensive pair, just the right pair. That favorite pair of jeans you wore with a t-shirt to the park, can become part of the perfect night- out attire with a great pair of heels. Every man has a story to tell about his wife or significant other and their shoes. I just purchased a new pair for myself yesterday. I do not know why we love them so much, but we do.
Ultimately the nice outfit and pretty shoes simply cover the outward appearance. We may feel better in one outfit over another, but neither can repair the damage of a broken heart. So often we try to use worldly things to mend heart issues. Even the love of a spouse can't fill the gaping hole left by unforgiveness. Material things cannot fill the void that darkness inhabits in the hardened heart.
Why is it so hard to turn to the helper? Why do we not want to give up the hurts we carry like Miss America banners across our hearts? Maybe we are simply afraid of losing ourself in the process. Maybe we are afraid He won't accept us for who we are, right now. Broken, battered, and lifeless. Here is where the story starts to get good....He wants us just the way we are. I can still remember the broken down me, the me that made me sick, being told by God that I was loved, forgiven, and part of the family. No questions asked. The wilted flower, given a sip of living water. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. (John 4:14)
Truer words have never been spoken. One of God's many promises to his children. A promise he has acted upon in my life, and will do the same for you. All you have to do is drink. He does the rest. Don't let your broken heart, unfulfilled dreams, and disappointments keep you from reaching for the cup. It only takes one sip of Jesus to change your entire life. Your Jimmy Choo's won't know what hit them.
Suffering to Discipline
I believe suffering can be a rite of passage for many of us. Why must we suffer the slings and arrows of our enemy? For me, that question begs yet another question; who or what is our enemy?
Just like a rite of passage, our suffering can strip us of our original role, and prepare us for a new role. That is called growing up, but for this scenario I am calling it moving on. Moving past the slings and arrow; and finding out what or who is tripping us up. So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control (discipline). Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires (you didn’t know better then). 1 Peter 1:14-17
Where does suffering end and discipline begin? Deep within our spirit. It comes from proper alignment, just as we allow a chiropractor to align our spine. What does proper alignment look like? God is in the lead (spirit man, the real you), soul and body take a back seat. When we take the Holy Spirit out of the driver’s seat, the soul and/or body take control, moving us back into the old role, the old habits, the old hurts
So, who is our enemy in these crazy time? It’s not always the glaring issues that seem to hover over us likes fog on a rainy morning. We have to remember, issues are inevitable. However, our emotional blunders are avoidable. Let’s be honest, if we took time to assess our current situation, could we get things back on track if we simply got out of the way? What if our individual wants and perceived needs were placed on the back burner for a while? What if we tried to look at things from the other guy’s perspective, in lieu of being hell bent on getting our own way.
For anyone still on the fence as to whether the decisions you are making are actually a catapult for the daily slings and arrows coming your way, look around and see who is with you the next time anger causes you to react negatively to the guy that just pulled in front of you in traffic.
I’m not pointing fingers; I’ve allowed bad decisions to cause me to make life changing mistakes. Thankfully God’s grace is abundant, and free for all those who call upon His name and accept Him as their Lord and Savior. That decision my friends, regardless of how you get there, is life changing.
Today is a great day to start digging deep; and releasing your spirit. Wisdom comes when we allow God to take control of our lives. Our vision becomes 20/20 and our hearing becomes elevated. Our emotions stop twisting us around like the winds in a hurricane; thus, allowing us to focus and start moving toward a disciplined life.
Living Outside the Confides of Addiction
Like a caged bird, is the life of everyone dealing with addiction. Stuck behind bars as the world passes by. The wings of flight tied by a confined space, no way to escape. There has to something better than this — and there is.
The reality of the situation is each bird has to want to leave confinement. It’s not about waiting on someone else to make a decision; its about you individually making a decision. <em>I’m taking flight.</em> I’m leaving the past and entering a future full of beauty; I’ll see you when you get there. Easy words to type out — hard words to put into action.
Unfortunately it’s like the narrow path to freedom that Matthew speaks about in the Bible. You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. (Matthew 7:13-14 NLT)
The fact that only a few ever find it doesn’t mean you cannot get there, it means so few try. So few try to get freed from the cages that confine them for so many reasons. It’s difficult. It means admitting things are wrong, bad, and/or unhealthy. Its means you finally have to admit to yourself, I have to make a change. Bottomline, it is terrifying. So many times we look at change as failure. I encourage you today to look at change as a new beginning. When one door closes a new door opens. The door to freedom.
So what is the first step to freedom? Admitting you are caged, and no longer have control of your life. Admitting your plans, the things you have struggled with for years, in your own strength just do not work. Admitting you need a higher power to lead the way.
This breakthrough, Jesus, is not just for the addict; He’s also for the family. He works in tandem with both the addict and family, tethering himself to each to steady their daily life. He is right beside them each step they take, and will carry them in their weakness.
My Flip Flops Ain't Cutting It
As many times as I’ve seen God work in my life, the real world has a way of pushing itself forward and encroaching on the Kingdom. I pray against it, I preach against it, I write about it, I warn others of its existence — but I still find myself being tripped and caught off guard by the forces of evil. I should not be surprised, for the Bible speaks this truth and realization in Ephesians. Paul the Apostle lays it out clearly.
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)
The Word of God warns us, but it does not leave us stranded, it provides a way out.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.& Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. (Ephesians 6:13-18)
If there is ever a time that we need to fully dress ourself in the armor of God, the time is now. In my life-time, I know of nothing else that has affected every household in some shape or form as has this pandemic. We clearly see the physical aspect in number of cases of Covid 19, and the death toll. Here are some of the effects that are not as clear, based on where you are positioned: Financial stress or ruin, fear, mental stress, loneliness, abuse, hunger, depression, suicide, addiction, anger. One or more of these things has touched each of our neighbors, our brothers and sisters in Christ. Many of these factors lead to the other atrocities we have seen over the past weeks. The truth is…humans, under the right circumstances, are simply one tragedy away from making stupid (yes, I said stupid), life changing decisions. Been there, done that.
To be totally transparent, I left my shield of faith in the closet yesterday. Equally as bad, I chose to wear flip flops in stead of the shoes of peace. What happened as I entered the world? I got a sucker punch to the gut and my toes got crushed.
Here is what it boils down to, we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies. We are fighting against mighty powers in this dark world and evil spirits in the heavenly places. What does this mean in everyday terms? Deception. The crazy voice in my head deceives me, ignorance of the facts deceives me, fear deceives me, anxiety deceives me, right down to devil himself, deceives me.
Deception is defined as an untrue falsehood, or the act of lying to or tricking someone (Yourdictionary.com)
This world is filled with deception. John 10:10 says, “the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy” (NIV). But that is not the end of the verse. The truth of the Word comes with a way out. Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it full”. Yes, the world is filled with deception. Each of us are deceived somewhere, somehow, on any given day. But the Good News says, (The shoes in the Armor of God) I have come that they may have life, and have it full. God is here, inside each of us, to provide wisdom and shelter. It may pour down rain, but God is our umbrella.
One might say it’s easy to protect yourself against what you can see; it’s what you cannot see that sneaks up when you least expect it. So, put on the full Armor of God daily. Leave nothing in the closet, we just cannot take that risk.
Let Freedom Ring
What a year it has been so far as we roll into Independence Day 2020, and still there is so much bondage. Bondage comes in so many forms, and means so many things to so many people.
I keep thinking back to a story in the Bible where Jesus healed the lame man at the pool of Bethesda. This pool was a place where people went to be healed. One man in particular had been there for 38 years. When Jesus arrived at this place, he saw the man and knew he had been there for a long time. Here is what Jesus asked him, “would like to get well?” In answer to Jesus question, the man starts to give excuses as to why he can not get well. No one will help or everyone else gets there before me. (John 5: 1-7 Paraphrase) 38 years of bondage due to excuses and lack of responsible for ones own self. I recognize it because I can relate to it. So, how do we get out of it? We have to be open and honest about the question that Jesus asked, do you want to get well? Many of us have been conditioned by the people in our life to believe that we cannot get well. Most of the time it is people that we look up to and believe to be our mentors, even family. Other times. we condition our own self to believe it is simply the cards we have been dealt. So we play the blame game. We are not suppose to prosper, we are not suppose to get well. We just sit by the bubbling water while everyone else steps over us to jump in.
Let’s examine the question that Jesus asked, do you want to get well? Jesus didn’t say let me hear your story and I’ll let you know if there is anything I can do to help you. Jesus didn’t say you might be predestined to this life, but I’ll see if I can help. Jesus didn’t say if only I had found you 10 years ago, then maybe I could help. He said, “do you want to get well”? It was a yes or no question. Oh friends, hear the beauty of this, the lame mans excuses did not disqualify from getting his healing. Just say yes to Jesus and take your healing. It’s free!! So let freedom ring in your life.
I get so excited at the next part of that scripture, where Jesus tells the man to pick up his mat and walk. Why take that dirty mat, all the years of pain and sorrow? That mat is so important friends, it reminds us of where we came from and what God has done in our life. It shows the world that we are overcomes. It shows the world that our God is a God of healing and restoration.
Today, I am letting my freedom ring, even through the turmoil in this county. I will continue to pray for this freedom and my country and my leaders and my fellow brothers and sisters. I know what God can do, I have seen it, and I carry my mat proudly today and every day for all to see.